When Imposter Syndrome Shows Up

What last Week Taught Me

Last week I caught myself in a familiar pattern. A few days of procrastination and distraction, followed by a burst of over-compensating energy - the kind that makes you want to prove your worth by doing more.

It came to a head with an urge to post every single day in November on LinkedIn and Instagram - to show I was “doing enough” in the men’s mental health space.

If you’ve ever felt that pull, you’re not alone. The paradox of imposter syndrome is that it hits those who care deeply - the men who are trying to create something meaningful, make a difference, or lead with authenticity. It rarely affects the apathetic. It shows up when the work - and the purpose behind it - really matters.

Understanding Imposter Syndrome in Men

When the inner critic starts whispering that you’re behind, not qualified enough, or not quite ready, your nervous system often flips into one of three survival responses:

• Freeze – procrastination, indecision, or mental fog

• Flee – distraction, endless planning, scrolling, or staying busy

• Fight – over-compensating with big pushes or performance-driven activity

None of these reactions make you weak – they make you human. They’re protective responses designed to keep you safe from perceived failure or exposure. The challenge is that protection can easily turn into self-sabotage if we don’t notice it.

My Own “Not Enough” Story

My inner dialogue this week sounded something like:

“It’s 'Movember' - everyone else is posting about men’s mental health. Real thought-leaders are consistent.”

On the surface, that sounds like commitment. Underneath, it’s fear - fear of not being enough, and fear of being found out.

The shift happened while walking with a friend in the Fells for a waterfall dip. I paused, took in the landscape, and noticed how walking shoulder-to-shoulder changed the conversation. The story of not being enough didn’t vanish, but it softened. Instead of being trapped inside it, I could see it from the outside.

A Healthier Reframe: What Imposter Syndrome Might Be Telling You

Rather than treating imposter syndrome as something to eliminate, I started treating it as a signal – a message asking for attention. Often, that anxious energy is a request for:

• Self-care - what happens when I regulate first?

• Clarity - what am I really trying to achieve?

• Boundaries - what is sustainable for me and the people I support?

When I returned to my initial impulse - “prove yourself by posting daily” - I could come back to my values: show up with integrity, not intensity.

Alignment Over Performance

There’s nothing wrong with showing up consistently online. But there’s a problem when that consistency is driven by fear rather than purpose.

I see this in many of the men I work with through Walk and Talk Therapy in the Lake District and online men’s therapy sessions. We often try to outrun discomfort by achieving our way out of it. Consistency is powerful when it’s anchored in values - but punishing when it’s driven by anxiety.

This month, I’m choosing a more grounded approach:

• Fewer, better posts - led by what’s true and useful

• Walk before writing - to get out of my head and into my body

• Weekly check-in - did this week reflect my values or my anxiety?

A 90-Second Reset for When You Feel Stuck

If you find yourself procrastinating or spiralling into overthinking, try this simple grounding exercise outdoors if possible:

1. Plant your feet and feel the ground beneath you. Wiggle your toes in your shoes – or barefoot if you can.

2. Breathe: Inhale through your nose for 4, hold for 2, exhale through your mouth for 6. Repeat 5 times.

3. Notice three “glimmers.” These are small positive details around you – light through trees, the sound of birds, a shift in temperature.

4. Place one hand on your chest, one on your belly. Ask: “What actually needs doing now?” Choose one small next step you can complete in ten minutes.

It’s not about perfect mindfulness. It’s about reclaiming agency when your inner pressure cooker starts to hiss.

What Imposter Syndrome Is Really Protecting

Beneath imposter syndrome, many men carry a quiet fear of being found out - as emotional, fallible, or simply human. We’ve been taught to keep our armour on. The problem is, armour blocks love and connection too.

Imposter syndrome tries to protect us from shame. Unfortunately, it also protects us from growth and authenticity.

A better kind of protection is found in relationship, movement, and nature.For me, it was a shoulder-to-shoulder conversation on a fellside. For you, it might be honest feedback from a mentor or joining a men’s group that challenges and supports you in equal measure.

Courage is contagious.

Redefining Success This Month

For me, success in November isn’t a perfect posting streak. It looks like:

• Serving the man who needs today’s message – not the algorithm

• Choosing presence over performance

• Admitting when I’m wobbling, then taking the next right step

• Letting movement and nature unlock clarity and calm

I’m still ambitious. I still want my work to reach more men and those who care for them. But I want to build from solid values, not scarcity.

If This Resonates

If any of this sounds familiar - the stuckness, the scroll, the over-committing – try one of these small shifts this week:

• The ten-minute block - start the smallest viable step. Celebrate completion, not perfection.

• The two-questions audit - before saying yes, ask: “Is this aligned with my values?” and “Is it sustainable for me this week?”

• The nature appointment - book a 30-minute walk in your diary and keep it like a meeting. Take one question and walk it through.

• The ally text - message a friend: “I’m tempted to overdo it. Here’s what I’ll actually do.” Accountability beats willpower.

If you’d like help working through imposter syndrome or other challenges around confidence, purpose, or overwhelm, Walk and Talk Therapy in Cumbria and the Lake District can help you process what’s going on in your body as well as your mind.

For those further afield, Online Therapy for Men offers a similar approach - reflective, grounded, and practical.

Imposter syndrome might not disappear completely, but when we meet it with honesty, movement, and connection, we can return to a grounded, sustainable stride.