Supporting Men: Why We Need to Do Therapy Differently

Stephen
Nov 10
4 min read

“Men don’t need fixing – the format does.”

Last weekend I had the privilege of speaking at the first ever Association for Outdoor Therapy Conference in North Wales. It was an honour to be in the presence of such passionate individuals, to discover the breadth of work being done by incredible practitioners, to join workshops that offered space to pause and reflect, and to share my own thoughts.

This week’s blog is a write-up of my presentation. It explores how Walk and Talk, Paddleboard Therapy, and other active approaches can create the right conditions for men to open up, reconnect, and heal.

Three simple premises

Give men the right spaces and they will talk.
Men are more likely to access help if it looks right for them.
Men are more likely to stay in therapy if it feels right for them.

Why this matters to me

I’m a man – I’m a therapist - and I work outdoors. I’ve lived it as well as practised it.

Post-traumatic growth didn’t happen for me in restrictive or overly clinical environments.It came when I was able to choose an approach that felt safe, collaborative, and grounded in movement and nature - one that aligned with how I naturally process and express emotion.

Professionally, I’ve mentored young people in care and veterans who’ve been medically discharged from the Army. I also spent years teaching and living alongside fifty teenage boys - a crash course in what helps boys (and the men they become) to open up.

The reality for men’s mental health

Around 75% of suicides are male
Men are less likely to access therapy
Men are more likely to drop out of therapy early
Only 1 in 5 therapists in the UK are male

If we’re serious about reaching men, we must make support approachable, relatable, and effective for them.

The barriers men face

Social conditioning: the “real men are self-reliant and stoic” script
Stigma: asking for help is still linked with weakness – and recent data from King’s College London shows public attitudes toward mental health are, worryingly, moving backwards
Confusing messages about masculinity: often polarised or shaming
Therapy stereotypes: the image of a couch, a cheese plant, and “talk about your feelings” still puts many men off
Clinical language: being told “there’s something wrong with you” can feel stigmatising – one reason “Stand Tall” resonates more with men than “Trauma and Addiction Therapy”
The quick-fix myth: popular wellness content often promises fast results, leaving many men feeling unseen or let down
Representation: with fewer than 20% of therapists being male, therapy can appear unfamiliar or intimidating to men trying it for the first time

If we want to move beyond the idea that therapy is for women, we need more visible male therapists and formats that meet men where they are.

The elephant in the room: men’s and women’s brains

I often hear the claim that men and women process emotions differently.Here’s what the research actually shows:

Men and women share the same neurological circuits for emotion and motivation.
The measurable differences between them are tiny.
What really shapes emotional expression is social learning, experience, and context.

Under stress, men tend to use problem-focused or action-based coping strategies, while women often seek connection or emotional support.When labelling feelings, women show stronger links between language and limbic regions, making verbal expression more natural.Men, by contrast, show stronger coupling between visuospatial and motor areas - meaning movement, action, or task-based contexts can help them access emotion more easily.

It’s not that men can’t express emotion.They just need a different doorway in.

Man and therapist sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on Lake District path with an open horizon. Walk and Talk Therapy with Stand Tall

Why I focus on Walk and Talk Therapy

If you’ve ever tried to talk to a teenager while making direct eye contact, you’ll know how hard it can be.But have that same conversation side-by-side - in the car or on a walk - and suddenly it flows.

That’s the essence of Walk and Talk Therapy.It works because:

It doesn’t look like therapy, so men feel safer accessing it
Movement regulates the nervous system
Nature supports presence through light, weather, and sound
Awareness of the body (interoception) improves naturally
The rhythm of walking creates regulation and flow

Water-based and other active approaches

This year I’m introducing Paddleboard Therapy – because water teaches. It builds resilience, patience, and adaptability. Conditions change, and you learn to adjust rather than resist.

Flow state: being fully absorbed in movement quietens rumination and boosts creativity
Rhythmic motion: embodied activity supports neural rewiring and emotional regulation
Mindfulness in motion: the movement of water keeps attention in the present
Challenge and safety: the right balance lowers defences and builds trust
Achievement: small successes on the board build genuine confidence that carries into everyday life

Paddleboard Therapy session with Stand Tall on calm water, focus and balance, mountains in the distance.

Why active approaches work for men

Being alongside someone makes it easier to open up
You feel you’re doing something, not just talking
It reframes therapy as mental fitness
It connects emotional health to performance and physical wellbeing
It builds kinship and shared purpose
Nature adds moments of awe – “glimmers” that lift mood and perspective
Facing challenges together builds trust and resilience

Healing happens when we create the conditions for challenge, agency, and success in real time.Whether it’s hiking, climbing, paddling, or walking – these experiences help the brain relearn resilience and restore balance.

It’s why I offer Walk and Talk Therapy
It’s why I’m introducing Paddleboard Therapy
And it’s why I’ve founded Stand Tall CIC, running Empower Events that combine nature, challenge, reflection, and connection for men