Stand Tall Starts With The Basics
- Stephen
- Aug 15
- 4 min read
On Sunday I joined the Never Throw in the Towel Project for a meet-up in Hamsterley Forest and then chatted with the team from Space North East. It was simple but powerful: a mixed-group walk, a few rounds of pads and boxing in a clearing, a short breathwork reset, a cold-water dip by the waterfall, and coffee together. No big speeches. No magic fixes. Just movement, nature, and a community that gets it.
On the drive home, one thought kept landing: standing tall isn’t a complicated strategy - it’s about getting the basics right. When life is heavy, the first things to go are usually the foundations that keep us steady. Yet they’re exactly what give us the physical, mental, and emotional space to feel like ourselves again. If you recognise that in yourself, you’re not alone - I do too.
Below are the basics I come back to personally and in my work with men. Nothing flashy. Just what works when done consistently.
Sleep - your daily reset
When sleep slips, everything else gets harder: irritability, racing thoughts, poor decisions. Keep it simple:
Aim for a consistent window - same wind-down, same wake-up.
Leave your phone outside the bedroom.
Power down in the last hour - warm shower, dim lights, slower breathing, quick journal.
If your head’s busy, write a 3-line ‘park-it’ list before bed.
Good sleep charges your battery so the rest of the basics are easier.
Move your body - every day
You don’t need a triathlon. Anything that raises your heart rate helps you get out of your head and back into your body.
Most days: walk or light exercise.
Some days: push a little - strength or cardio.
One day: proper rest and stretch.
Get outside - let nature do some of the heavy lifting
Trees, water, and open sky nudge the nervous system toward calm. Shoulders drop. Breathing deepens. Mind softens.Quick wins:
Swap one indoor call for a walk-and-talk.
Eat lunch outside.
Notice three ‘glimmers’ - light through leaves; water over rocks; wind on your skin.
30–60 seconds of cold water on your face, hands, or feet.
Eat to steady your system
Think fuel, not just food. Aim for steady energy rather than spikes and crashes.
Build meals around protein, fibre, and colour.
Don’t let caffeine or sugar become your coping strategy.
Hydrate - first glass of warm water before the first coffee.
Keep two easy go-to fresh meals for busy days.
Dial down overindulgence
When we’re stressed, overdoing it with food, alcohol, or other numbing habits can feel like relief, but it steals tomorrow’s energy. No preaching - just practical control.
Set simple guardrails: alcohol-free nights; a later start to the first drink at weekends; portion snacks into a bowl.
Pause before you act. Ask what you’re really needing in that moment.
Swap “I can’t” for “I’m choosing not to right now.”
Choose your people - community builds resilience
Men’s groups and communities like Never Throw in the Towel, Space North East, Blue Mind Men, Zero, Mettle, and Men’s Retreats UK share a similar feel: practical, honest, encouraging. You don’t need a huge circle - just the right people who’ll ask how you are and mean it, get outside with you, train with you, laugh with you, and tell you the truth kindly.
Quick audit:
Who leaves you a little taller?
Who drains you?
Add one hour a week with the first group and one hour less with the second.
A simple weekly plan to stand tall
Keep it doable. Keep it visible.
Sleep: same wind-down, 5 nights this week.
Movement: 4 walks, 2 strength or cardio sessions.
Outdoors: 15 minutes a day, one longer session at the weekend.
Food: plan 2 solid, easy meals for your busiest days.
Overindulgence: one clear guardrail you can actually keep.
Community: message one mate and fix plans - walk, coffee, training, or a dip.
Write it on a Post-it. Stick it where you’ll see it. Tick it off. Aim for progress over perfection.
When it’s hard
Some weeks the basics feel out of reach. Start smaller:
3 deep belly breaths before you open your phone.
One glass of water now.
Shoes on - doorstep - 5-minute walk.
Text a mate: “Walk this week?”
Small steps interrupt the spiral. Once you start, the next step is easier.
Final thought
Standing tall isn’t about never wobbling. It’s about building a foundation that helps you come back to yourself - sleep that restores you, movement that grounds you, time outside that settles your system, food that steadies energy, boundaries around overindulgence, and people who lift you up.
If you’re putting these basics in place and still feel stuck - or the load feels heavy to shoulder alone - we can walk it through together. I offer walk-and-talk sessions across Cumbria and the Dales, and online sessions for flexibility. When you’re ready, get in touch to take the next step.
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